im having a threesome with these popsicles
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
