he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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