I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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