she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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