i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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