It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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