Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
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An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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