remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
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I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i think my cat just said my name.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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