I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
