you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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