so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
