im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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