Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My feet surprised me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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