I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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