remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
