With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
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He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
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I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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