is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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