you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Everyone says I win the strip club
You've changed since you got that strap on
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
