So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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