Ambien. No doubt about it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
