kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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