Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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