Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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