she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
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im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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