watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
