Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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