Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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