I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
