guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
