i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
