Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
