He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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