I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
