I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So many bounce houses so little time
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
