sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
