My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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