Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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