How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
