we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
