I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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