I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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