Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
