Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
