what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize