When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
