Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
