I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
