Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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