How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
