Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
