I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
