Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
