so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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