He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you would pick up someone in the library
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
