Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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