I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
