Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
