the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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