I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize